A Message from Your Laptop, Which Hasn’t Been Backed Up for Three Hundred and Eleven Days


#TIA – If you’re among all the millions who haven’t updated your laptop, it applies to you. It may not tell you how to do it.

Greetings. It’s me, “Olivia’s Mac.” I write to you today with many updates, the majority of which are uninstalled. Mostly, I write to tell you that I have not been backed up for three hundred and eleven days. Chances are you know this, because I have reminded you every afternoon, politely and without fail, for the last three hundred and ten days.

I’m doing fine, working long hours as is my custom—sending e-mails, opening browsers, closing browsers, and completing a seemingly impossible number of complex processes, all at lightning speed. Don’t worry about me. I’m happy to serve your needs, day in and day out, and for you to close me shut at nightfall, without saving any of my information, or exiting any of my tabs, all while a very full glass of water rests precariously nearby on an uneven stack of magazines.

Read more at The New Yorker